Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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