someone get that fucking seahorse.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?