Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.

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(912): I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night. http://tfl.nu/zcqt

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(706): View more from Georgia

If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

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(706): If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america. http://tfl.nu/uk3q

Replies (28) Good night (1264) Bad night (2485) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?

(734): View more from Michigan

nope, you were tallying rejections at the party

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(313): hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots? (734): nope, you were tallying rejections at the party http://tfl.nu/c1is

Replies (8) Good night (961) Bad night (5826)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.

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(870): She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call. http://tfl.nu/dsl8

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(314): View more from Missouri

Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?

(217): View more from Illinois

I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.

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(314): Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos? (217): I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd. http://tfl.nu/vu96

Replies (14) Good night (3628) Bad night (1496)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.

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(908): Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder. http://tfl.nu/vsy5

Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (3071) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.

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(610): I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse. http://tfl.nu/qk0b

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(541): View more from Oregon

Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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(541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3

Replies (25) Good night (7417) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.

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(225): Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe. http://tfl.nu/nl8k

Replies (5) Good night (1843) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
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(713): View more from Texas

Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on

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(713): Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on http://tfl.nu/6fw7

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.

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(781): He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory. http://tfl.nu/fp19

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.

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(512): I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun. http://tfl.nu/d4m3

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?

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(215): Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/vjuq

Replies (11) Good night (2217) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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(770): View more from Georgia

You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.

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(770): You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned. http://tfl.nu/2qpc

Replies (5) Good night (2058) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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(253): View more from Washington

I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

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(253): I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks http://tfl.nu/tvej

Replies (11) Good night (981) Bad night (489)

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