it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.