I'm so fucking centered right now
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?