You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge