Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Life without a bra equals bliss.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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