So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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