She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
