I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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