I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
