do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
