i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
COCAINE IS GR8
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
