i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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