tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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