i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
