I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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