I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
