Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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