Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
