The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he told me I talked like a deaf person
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
