you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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