This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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