Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize