After last night, I could never be a politician.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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