I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just found puke in my bra..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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