no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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