i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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