Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
