Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
