My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
