well I can't set my house on fire every night
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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