she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
