I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
