no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
