Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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