Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
