I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
