How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
