Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
