is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
