The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
