That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
