Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
