She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
