Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
