you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
