If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
