pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
