He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize