things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
4 words: hood of his car
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
