no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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