you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
