oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
