i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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