You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
