We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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