is your mom at the bar?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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