I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
