Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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