How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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