Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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