Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
