coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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