She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
